The Absence of the Mundane
by Uozumi
Summary: The differences or omissions of the little things add up to change the brother’s perspective on a pivotal event. season five episode nineteen spoilers


**Fandom** _Supernatural_  
**Character(s)/Pairing(s)** Dean, Gabriel, Sam; take whatever pairings as you will  
**Genre** Coda/Death/Slice of Life  
**Rating** PG  
**Word Count** 1093  
**Disclaimer** Supernatural c. Kripke, WB, CW  
**Summary** The differences or omissions of the little things add up to change the brother's perspective on a pivotal event.  
**Warning(s)** spoilers for season five episode nineteen  
**Notes** I wrote my reaction to the episode down in my LJ and all of a sudden this fic attacked me.

_**The Absence of the Mundane**_

The news came over the laptop on some spoof of any quintessential bad porno ever made. While it did bring up the question how bad original sin was if archangels could shake their grove thing and stay archangels, it did not make the death seem real. Then again, it was not as though either of them knew Gabriel beyond a pest that had made himself known maybe five odd times in their lives.

However, the next morning Dean walked into the sink area between the main room and the bathroom and gave Sam a strange look. Sam was standing at the side of the sink nearest the bathroom staring at his toothpaste. Dean looked from the tube of oozing green goop to Sam and back to the goop. "It's toothpaste."

Sam blinked and then slid the goop onto his brush. "I know."

It just normally was purple, pink, blue, or sparkly. It had been that way for years. He could never remember toothpaste the color the label promised.

Dean checked the driver's seat of the impala before he got in that morning. It was already getting humid and unreasonably warm for northern Indiana in April. He was going to have to ditch his jacket for an over shirt or go further north at this rate. Dean stopped musing and really looked at the driver's seat. There was no loose change, random bullets that were packed with rock salt, or stupid things like thumbtacks or a small pile of leaves hiding a caterpillar just waiting for him to sit on. Dean checked the floorboard and heard Sam get in more than see him.

"Something wrong?" Sam ventured as he watched Dean's hand move along the floor under the break and gas pedals.

Dean finally got in and started up the impala. "No." It was weird.

It felt lonely. Not in the Dean's been to Hell and back so I'm sitting in the car with a shell of a man lonely, but a different lonely. Not that Sam would breathe such a thing aloud. It was trivial and not exactly one of those things he had to share if they were going to survive sitting in a car, working, and living together. Sam thought if felt like unknown benevolent eyes had been watching him up until just hours ago. He had not noticed when they disappeared but somewhere in the chaos of spiriting Kali away, the eyes had vanished.

Dean fiddled with the radio. If Pestilence and Death were out there, the news would know something. Yet Dean kept flipping channels, disregarding even the classic rock station. Eventually he just turned it off. Something felt weird about the whole day. He felt cut off from something but Sam was normal, he was normal, and Castiel's disappearance in that warehouse did not feel this way. This was like waking up one morning finding out you were going to be white haired for the rest of your life and not a cool Sean Connery white but a funky Spike from _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_faux white and there was no way to undo it. Yet, for the life of him, Dean could not figure out what was so off about the day.

They ended up at Lake Wawasee. It was something about a monster. It was routine, if you could call any job that, and despite a cut to Sam's cheek and Dean being slammed down so hard on a dock he was probably rocking a bruise on his ass, they came out pretty intact. The sun had long set when Dean eased himself down onto what felt like a concrete slab of a bench seat. He was surprised there had not been any frogs waiting for them like there always seemed to be when they went to these types of locations. Sam opened the glove compartment and frowned. He started searching through it. Dean glanced over at him and tried to find a good way to sit. They did not have that long a drive to a motel in Syracuse.

"What you looking for?" Dean tried to peer into the glove compartment.

"The Band-Aids," Sam said. "They're always in here."

Dean started up the car. He tried to remember the last time they bought any but he really did not know. "Didn't you get some recently?" he hedged.

"No." Sam had an array of belongings on his lap now. "I thought you always bought them."

"I never buy them." Dean frowned when they came to a red light. He had been hoping for the shortest ride possible to the motel.

"There's no such thing as magical Band-Aids, Dean." Sam gave up and put everything back into the glove compartment.

"Well, I don't know." Dean hit the gas pedal. "The last time I looked they were full." That had been quite a while ago. Castiel had been in the car and found them. He had seen the angel dump them and then pick them back up and put the box back where it belonged.

The man at the motel lobby desk had to have been just a bit older than Bobby and a hell of a lot more hostile. The man watched Dean like a hawk from the moment he pulled up in the impala with Sam to the exchange of the room key. He did, however, seem to soften when Dean mentioned needing two beds, but still it was curdled milk. The motel room did not have a table or kitchenette, but there were two beds and a television.

Dean chucked his bag in a corner and flopped down on the bed with the wall near the left side. He hooked his hands behind his head and looked at Sam who was standing in the middle of the room looking off at something. "What?"

Sam's eyes shifted to Dean. "Do you think...?" his voice trailed and then he shook his head. "Never mind." The thought sounded strange and egotistical now that Sam considered it. He felt more than saw Dean give him that look he got when he thought Sam was being especially weird.

Green toothpaste, no Band-Aids, no frogs, no leaves, no eyes checking in every so often. Sam took a breath and frowned. All of these odd occurrences disappeared when Gabriel declared he must be dead. Looking to Dean, Sam thought maybe he brother was thinking it too. Maybe they had known the archangel since before either of them could remember.

That was when they truly began to mourn for Gabriel.

**The End**


End file.
